Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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