Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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