Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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