nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Randomize
