That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
