I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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