We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
we made out on top of his cat.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Randomize
