Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
Randomize
