I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
