The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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