Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
