Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
