She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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