So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I think a kid would responsible me up
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
