Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Randomize
