you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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