i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
