Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
