she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
