If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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