Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
