yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
