Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
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