I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
