Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
And then he peed in my hair
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