let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i was born a porn star she said
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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