I puked a lego.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
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