I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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