White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
