it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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