I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
