so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
