Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
