i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
