last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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