you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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