we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
My ass is underappreciated
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
