Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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