I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I just found a bag of teeth...
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
