threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
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