I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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