apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Never underestimate the power of titties
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
