Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
