dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
farters have to be the big spoon...
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
