I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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