remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
