He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Randomize
