The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
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