I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
