READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
