No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Randomize
