what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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