Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
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