please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
last night I used snow as a chaser
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
