i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Reggie can tackle my bush.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
