we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
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