I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
