Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Randomize
