Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
wakey wakey hands off snakey
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize