i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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