I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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