can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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