By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
