Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
