If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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