so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
