could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
Randomize
