Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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