i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Randomize