and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
