I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
