I think my fart just growled at me.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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